‘You know it’s dark…’

Photo: Toronto Star

That’s what the big, pointy thing in my backyard looked like last night.

I’ve turned off the television and I’m avoiding social media as best I can. Once again, hatred is coming to the fore and demonstrating the depravity and delusional depths to which we, as humans, can sink. I can’t handle the speculation and the voyeurism that is the norm when things like this happen. I’m not sure that I have anything at all that I can add to any sort of dialogue about why we, as humans, continue to do these things to each other. This blog is full of posts (here’s one), and my life is full of ghosts of discussions-past, that strive to address underlying causes and the nonsensical clinging to anachronistic and out-of-context ideologies that suborn these types of horrors. I’m exhausted from re-hashing my dialectic around why we must address- and enact- the complete separation of world statecraft and politics from any and all mindless adherence to mythologies and social controls that are out of place and time.

If you really want to, you can search back through the catalogue and find far too many reactionary posts that arose out of tragedies of this sort. Before the first indicators of the events of yesterday started in my feed, I was toying with an idea for a post- a break from the fiction I’ve been trying to write lately- in the form of a belated experiential slice-of-life sort of a thing that spoke about the goodness of the life I enjoy. Given that it was going to be a post about a music show, in a local music hall, the subject’s poignancy has taken on a new dimension. Going out of an evening to share the connection that music brings to those of us who value such things above the irrelevancies of constructed divisions and preconceptions is something that I hold to be a sacred (for lack of a more appropriate term. Yes, I get the irony) part of being a human that shares this planet with other humans.

So I’m writing it anyway. I’ll take comfort in memories of some of the real, tangible, good to which I have been a privileged party. I welcome anyone who might like to join me, but I understand that many of you are glued to the incoming messages and the pain associated with the images and realities of the situation. I will return to despairing over the crimes we commit against each other when we have more than speculation and in-the-moment reactions with which to deal. Especially since, once again, the soundbites and commentaries are fanning the flames of racism and xenophobia and demonstrating, yet again, wrong-headed thinking that stems from positions of privilege. If you want to read some excellent insights into that reality, have a look at this op-ed. Totally jibes with my thoughts on the subject of the day-presented more clearly than I can manage at this point.

Outrage and grief are understandable, and certainly warranted. I’d be the last to suggest otherwise. But what is, per usual, missing (for the most part- the essay linked above is a welcome exception) is perspective, and rational response. Enough. On to some regularly-scheduled programming…


For Canadians, Thanksgiving comes early (relative to our neighbours down south, that is). I had booked some vacation time around the October holiday- hoping to get some things done and have a bit of a break from the workaday normalcy. Those Blue Jays were still in the running and providing us all with some awesome post-season excitement. It was a warm weekend in this City by the Lake, and, after a lovely dinner with the fam, I’d arranged to meet an old friend up at Lee’s Palace (not the ‘Shoe, but probably my second-fave live venue in town) to see a guy who feels like an old friend.

The Wheat Sheaf Tavern had set up tvs outside- for smokers, people passing on the street and those, like me, waiting for streetcars. I witnessed another of those amazing Kevin Superman Pillar catches before the Red Rocket whisked me north. As I walked over from Bathurst, every bar on Bloor was playing the baseball game, and I was reassured that we were solidly in control of the game. Since all was good with the Boys in Blue, I was ready for some high octane rocking and rolling (admittedly, there were text updates throughout the evening- no disrespect to the star of the show at all, but it had been 22 years since the Jays were in the post-season. 22. Long. Years).

Jesse Malin has come up in my WordPressWorld discussions a time or two- he’s one of the most engaging live artists I’ve seen (and I’ve seen a few) and he never fails to entertain. The holiday and the Jays’ game pretty much validated my concerns about the timing of the show- there weren’t a whole lot of people on hand. But my friend had rearranged his family dinner plans to make the show, and we tend to celebrate big dinners early in the day, anyway, so we were there, wearing our proverbial bells and hoping to make enough noise to make up for the poor turn-out.

We got there in time to see most of the opening act- Matthew Ryan, a dude out of Philly who writes and plays solid story-songs that offered important messages that were lovely, lyrically and musically, both. Between songs, he spoke of the importance of engagement- political or otherwise- words that rang especially vividly leading up, as we were, to that federal election. We got to have a quick chat with him- and snap a few pictures- between sets. Always a bonus to meet the person behind newly-discovered music.

By the time Jesse hit the stage the crowd hadn’t grown significantly, but it didn’t take long for him to entice us all down to the dance floor for a sing-and-dance-a-long that turned into one of my favourite nights of live music, ever.

In the last year he has released two albums of new music (yes, I said TWO). The most recent, Outsiders, had dropped the previous week. I admit that I hadn’t had much of a chance to listen to the newest stuff (the lack of real computer means that I remain hesitant to download the albums- and I like, whenever possible, buying CDs from merch tables at shows- so I’d relied on streams from various sources and some YouTube viewing to catch myself up), but, having seen the guy three times previously, I knew that the live versions of the new stuff would be the stuff of which memories are made.

I was right.

Jesse’s been at his craft for a few years decades now (he started performing at CBGBs when he was 12. Yes, that says 12), and his live shows are things of beauty. He’s a consummate professional- the voice, the backing band, the energy… and the lack of crowd deterred him not-at-all. Within a couple of songs he had joined us on the dance floor- belting out his new material (with a few older standbys in the mix) and showing just how classy working musicians can be. A few people came close to being clothes-lined by his mic cord as he moved among us, but great music- and its appreciation- is about taking chances, and should be riddled with the potential for a little danger.


I’ve tried to isolate some of the highlights in my mind. It’s difficult, though. His shows (even the one that packed the ‘Shoe because the TIFF glitterati thought the Boss might show up- I wrote about that one here) always seem more like a kitchen ceilidh- hanging with friends, sharing some stories and dancing ’til your feet hurt and your cheeks ache from the smiling and singing along.

I visited the merch table- of course- and bought both New York Before the War and Outsiders. Since the show I’ve had them both on repeat pretty constantly.

Hard as it is to choose favourites, this one stands out from New York Before the War:

I love the references to Dee Dee Ramone (clarification: turns out I got my musical allusions wrong. I checked out a YouTube clip, ‘Live at Vintage Vinyl’, today, and Jesse provided some background on the tune. In Addicted he’s actually referencing the life and death of Arturo Vega- the close friend and artistic director of the Ramones, who, among other things, designed that iconic logo of theirs. LOVE the stories this guy tells about his experiences and travels. Check out the performance if you have an hour- his story about Shane MacGowan- as a lead-in to his version of If I Should Fall from Grace with God… so awesome)- who has to be a personal hero of Jesse’s (he pops up in earlier tunes, as well), and the NYC atmosphere that resonates throughout. The themes of tearing things down (bookstores for condos, for example) and moving on- or being forced to move on- are visited throughout the album, which is a working-out of all kinds of things that have been floating around his head since 2010’s Love it to Life. It’s about how quickly things are changing, without requisite time or sensitization to get used to all the dramatic shifts in paradigm that we experience nowadays. The album reflects on the disposable culture we’ve created, the prevalent apathy and mindless following of trends, and addresses the realities of having to deal with horrible, terrible things- but still manages to find a spark of positivity that keeps us keeping on. And dancing while we do so.

Outsiders is darker, but also playful and full of tongue-in-cheek humour than demonstrates his masterful use of language and lyric.

At Lee’s, he talked a little about filming the video for this one. About how it was sweltering that day in New Orleans as they made their way around town to gather the images to accompany the lyrics- capturing NOLAs ‘away-ness’ in his song about the eventual return to his home- where his heart remains.

I can’t stop listening to it. Seriously. Non-stop. It’s my new  get-up-and-deal-with-the-day tune. Naturally, the title resonated quite personally. Sort of foregone, conclusion-wise, that I’d be intrigued. The song is so full of allusions and references and well-connected turns-of-phrase… I’m gushing, I realize. And if it doesn’t make you feel like dancing… you might want to get that looked at.

After the show wound up, still feeling kind of breathless, I thanked Jesse, as he passed on the way to merch, for coming to see us again, and for giving us such a fantastic night. He signed my new CDs, and posed for some photos with us, while chatting away about past shows at the ‘Shoe and other visits to TO.

Loved it. All of it. (Many thanks again to Mr. G- for the company, and the ticket, and the long-ago intro to Jesse’s music).

Nights like that demonstrate the best of us human-types. People making art, sharing art, connecting with strangers and reinforcing the reality that those things we create to share with love are much more important than the things we create to feed divisiveness and hatred.

We need that message on days like yesterday- and today. Thank you, Jesse, for your long-term and ever-developing role as messenger.


“Hey man, whatcha doing,

All along the road to ruin

You know it’s dark when atheists start to pray.”

The crimes committed in France yesterday are bringing out the hashtags and the superficial demonstrations of engagement and encouragement. One of them, #prayforparis, is generating backlash, as others post things about there being too much prayer- and asserting that prayer is the origin of the problem. While I understand the sentiment behind the hashtag, I have to concur with the naysayers who are pointing out that fighting against hateful ideology- supported by religions and political systems, both- is what we should be doing.

Charlie Hebdo’s message to the world (cartoon by Joann Sfar)

As a concept, I’ve always thought that prayer, the way it’s generally defined by western religions- as an intransitive verb that addresses god(s) with adoration, supplication, thanksgiving or confession- is the ultimate cop-out. Asking a deity- any deity- to intervene in problems of our own making, horrific acts performed by humans against other humans, removes us, in a way that is criminal, from taking responsibility and proactively working to make things better.

It is dark. In the City of Light, in Lebanon, in Kenya, in too many other places on this globe.

But there’s another definition of the term- one that is distanced from overtones of religion and belief- and the abrogation of human culpability. As a transitive verb, ‘to pray’ means ‘to entreat or implore’, often used as an introduction to a question, request or plea.

I can get behind that last bit. Pleading. With all of us, as human beings, to mourn, to punish the guilty who seek to end or disrupt the lives of others for reasons that can never suffice. But vilifying and scapegoating entire groups while blaming and further victimizing those who are fleeing the terror… I implore us all to think before we act/react/speak.

That’s how this atheist prays.

17 comments on “‘You know it’s dark…’

  1. You give me much to think about, I think you know me enough by what you have read to understand I will. Thank you.

    • colemining says:

      Thank you, Daniel. For the visit, and for taking the time to think about what I’ve said, here. It’s important that we all examine where our impulses are coming from- the feelings of sympathy and grief? Those are to be expected from thinking, feeling, compassionate people. It’s the generalizing accusations and politically-driven rhetoric that concerns me- that, and the willful ignorance that sets events like this one apart from the other acts of terror happening all-too-constantly because they are happening in places we consider to be ‘other’. We are all in this together, and we all need to take a look at how our contexts- and intersections- shape our responses. I know that you will thoughtfully consider all these things. xo

  2. Happy to be introduced to this Jesse Malin. Here’s to Music. Kisses. Life. Champagne and Joy.

    • colemining says:

      Oh Booksy, I can’t say enough positive things about him. And that song! It’s getting me through the day, today. Thanks for the visit- and for the wonderful words you offered, earlier, about your daughter’s wisdom. Such hope, there. Life and joy, indeed. xo

  3. Your link to ‘Our Mourning Is Broken’ kind of sums up where I’m at about now, Cole. I just keep thinking about how we fail to see the big picture and could weep for the futility of it all until we do. So many links in this post and via those to others, and among your commenters, remind me that there are many who share a better vision and work towards that aim. It’s good to be reminded. Thank you.

    I’ve listened to yer man above and totally get his appeal. There’s something wonderful in knowing that he’s been doing this since he was a lad and still loves it. Isn’t dependent on worldwide fame and acclaim to be doing what he loves. That’s such a GOOD thing.

    I’ll join you in entreaty and prayer that we work for goodness. Maybe we could all of us get behind good again.

    Hugs, my friend, I feel I know where your heart and head must be at.x

    • colemining says:

      Yes! That’s it exactly- he is dedicated to his art and his craft, and keeps at it- 35 years later- regardless of whether or not people know his name or fill stadiums to see him. He does it because he loves it (that’s a big part of the underlying theme in You Know it’s Dark) and because he’s brilliant at it. He’s my favourite guy right now. An exemplar worth following.

      I made the mistake of turning on the CBC this morning… I keep coming back to that article- about the reasons why Paris outrages us, yet no one says anything about these events as they happen elsewhere in the world. It’s the most demonstrative example of the way in which we unconsciously (although sometimes it is conscious) separate ourselves into ‘us’ and ‘them’. Paris is ‘us’. Kenya is ‘them’. Until we see and address that little reality, we are never going to get it- and if we don’t get it, I can’t imagine how we will ever be able to work together to enact our visions of better aim.

      Hollande has said ‘this is war’. Our new PM will have his work cut out for him- sticking to the ideas and ideals he is determined to implement here, and as part of our responsibility to the wider world. I just hope he doesn’t get caught up in the drive for revenge that has dictated politics in our part of the world since 9/11.

      I’m tired, A-M, and I don’t know what else I can do to keep stating what is, to me, the obvious. But you’re right. There is evidence out there of rational, ethical, empathetic people who can envision a world that isn’t divided according to ancient superstitions and archaic dictates meant to control Bronze Age societies. I’ll try to hold on to that as I head out into the sunshine, with Jesse in the earbuds, to spend some quality time with the sis.

      Thank you, as always, for the support and for your input (and for your poem of this morning- reminding us, again, of the good). xo

  4. Cole – mourning and pleading and praying for all today. For life. For unity. For hope. For love.

  5. ChgoJohn says:

    I wish I could say I was shocked to see how quickly the xenophobes used the Parisian tragedy as justification for their beliefs. That response was as predicable as tomorrow’s sunrise. I am heartened, however, to read posts like yours, Cole, and the comments that followed. We must do our best to ensure that the discourse follows this path.

    • colemining says:

      Hi John- yes. The xenophobes are distressingly predictable. And we had a mosque burned- in a mid-sized town not far from Toronto yesterday. Like you, I’m heartened by responses like yours (and the others who have taken the time and consideration to comment), and by the fact the our PM, at least, is sticking to his plan to resettle 25 000 refugees by year-end (as optimistic as that might be), and to pull our forces from the current military ‘plan’ against ISIS. We’ll see whether he can stick to that, or if the vocal political alarmists will necessitate a shift.

      Thank you for the visit- and the comment. I need all the hopefulness I can get, right now. xo

  6. bethbyrnes says:

    I had a regularly scheduled idea for this upcoming Friday too and am now pivoting to deal with this issue myself. Before I forget, thank you for reminding me of Dee Dee Ramone.

    I will admit, I had a moment of panic and thought to cancel our Thanksgiving trip. Geoffrey talked me down from the ledge. I tend to pull in my tentacles when things like this are afoot. I am not physically brave.

    But, I have been thinking a great deal about what the world needs to do and will be covering some of my thoughts on Friday, blending it in with what I had originally planned, to some degree. Haven’t written it yet and these things usually write themselves in a certain direction no matter what my plans are. The concepts and words bubble up from my Jungian collective unconscious stream without my awareness, apparently, so we shall see what I actually post in the end.

    But the ideas have been brewing since 9/11 and in fact, before that, since the hijackings of the 1970s. I spent a great deal of time as a graduate student studying the ME and trying to decide whether to concentrate on it, or South America, ultimtely choosing the later — luckily for me.

    Anyhoo. Great post and reminder Cole. Once again, we think alike. I can barely stand some of the hatred and xenophobia that the airwaves are promoting right now. Somehow, I am deeply saddened, still.

    • bethbyrnes says:

      “latter”, not ‘later’, sigh …

    • colemining says:

      Dee Dee was awesome- Jesse loves sprinkling his songs with little references- and the Ramones were high on the list of his influences.

      Since so much of the focus of my studies- graduate and otherwise- is situated in the ME (or, more correctly, the ANE), I’ve made it a point to try to familiarize myself with the modern shape of things in that region as much as possible. To say that it’s an unmitigated disaster is massively understating the case- and a whole lot of the culpability for that reality can be laid at the doorsteps of western countries and our political machinations and mandates.

      I don’t know where we go from here. Truly. I fear we are headed down the same, ineffective path we took post-9/11, and about to repeat- and magnify- errors of judgement and lapses of humanity that will become more and more irrevocable. So I’ll look forward, as I always do, to your thoughts and ideas on Friday.

      Thanks for the visit, Beth. Let’s hope that some light can be found in the next while. xo

  7. […] of factors contributing to my lack of festive feeling – as evinced by most of what I’ve written ’round these parts lately (when I’ve written anything at all) – but it’s […]

  8. […] not a poet and a visionary. My voice may not have the breath, or breadth, that his does, but my plea remains the same as his was, in […]

  9. […] there’s this other guy, who I’ve written about before. He was out on tour in support of his latest record (we saw him here in the fall) – but it […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s